This past Tuesday, the girls turned 3 weeks old!
Here's Gigi...
...and Maya
People keep asking us "How are things going?" (usually with a concerned look on their faces--possibly because I'm wearing a shirt covered in spit up and breast milk, and I reek of rotton milk? Just a theory.). I never know what to respond to this question....the truth is, we are exhausted, worn out, and overwhelmed. We are questioning everything we are doing, certain we are royally screwing up our babies. We wake up during the night convinced we are holding babies in our bed--then we go through panic mode when we discover we have lost the baby in the covers (really, they are safe in their crib...we are just going nuts). I have times when I think that if I have to feed them ONE MORE time, I'm going to lose it. At least once a day I decide that I'm done with breastfeeding and I'm just going to give them formula (usually around 11 p.m., then I cry and go to bed). We are astounded at the amount of poop and pee that can come out of two tiny people....and we just don't understand why they wait until the diaper is OFF to let the pee fly? I thought that was a boy thing!
But then, we see a cute little baby smile (I know it's gas or poop....but I choose to believe they are smiling at me...just let me have my delusions) or hear them make little gurgles when they are happy or feel them snuggle up to us after they eat, and it makes it all worth it. We wouldn't trade them for the world!
I keep telling myself these things, over and over:
1. It will get easier..these are hard times, but it will get easier.
2. You will survive and someday, SOMEDAY--you will sleep more than 3 or 4 hours at a time.
3. Your body will not let the babies starve to death.
Anyways, that's how we are doing, for the inquiring minds.
In other news, we were able to see a lot of our family this past week. I'm kicking myself now, because I didn't take a single picture. No pictures! The girls got to meet their great grandmas for the first time, and Aunt Becky and Uncle Lee, and a bunch of other people. I brought the camera and didn't even take it out. Sigh.
Here's the newest twin pictures:
Last week, the girls got their first real baths because their umbilical cords fell off!
Gigi seems to like taking a bath...Maya, not so much.
Baby feet...I love baby feet!
I keep trying to get more pictures of the girls together...
...but then one tries to eat the other one...
...or they smack each other and end up like this! I'm sure one day they'll love each other.
The girls are doing well with weight gain--we see the pediatrician again next week and I'm hoping they will be past their birth weights. The good news is that BOTH girls have double chins now! They are still tiny and skinny, but hopefully I have two chubby girls on their way.
I weighed myself today and I have officially lost 41 pounds since the girls were born. Crazy...I knew those ankles were AT LEAST 15 pounds each. :)
9 comments:
It will get better! I don't have twins, but I have a 3 year old and 5 month old. I've experienced a lot of what you are going through and as you get closer to one, things start looking much brighter. Yes they will sleep someday and so will you. Great job keeping with the breastfeeding. It can be so frustrating and tiring, but it's great for the girls. You are doing a great job. Rest when you can and take any help you can get. Take care!
I told Brooks that I'd vacuum your house or make you food or something to help ... he suggested that I preach a Sunday evening sermon. See, I offered to help YOU and then he co-opted my offer for his own benefit. ;) Despite his rejection, if you want/need me to do dishes sometime or make you guys dinner, please call me (I've thought about just showing up to surprise you with dinner, but that's out of character for me and is kinda rude).
Your baby girls are precious! Hang in there, it will get better! One day you will go from crying yourself to sleep, to not wanting to go to sleep at all because they are getting bigger and actually starting to function like a mini person. They will smile at you and you will forget about all of those sleepless nights and those milk stained shirts and you will just look at your beautiful baby girls with such loving eyes and wonder how in the world you were so lucky to have these precious miracles in your life.
Becoming a mom has been the best thing that has ever happened to me but there were those times where I questioned if this was actually what I wanted. When I had to wake up for he 5th time in the middle of the night and I could barley keep my eyes open... I would just cry...
But the joys will far out-weight the down sides, I can promise you that! Just hang in there!
You are in my thoughts and prayers! Keep up the great work! It sounds like you are doing a GREAT job-even if it doesn't feel like it. Will continue to keep you all in my prayers!
Karen Benoit
Thank you for your candid look on your life with twins. You had me cracking up! :) You're doing a great job Jill... and Brookes ofcourse. Congrats again! I'm sure there will be a light at the end of the tunnel soon.
ElisaBeth
Sorry just realized I mispelled Brooks name to mean a river . ;-)
Jill- I know that you and Brooks are doing a great job. Be assured, you cannot ruin or screw up a baby. You are not a bad mom if you decide to bottlefeed and you are not a bad mom when you feel overwhelmed and out of your mind crazy!! I would love to come down and help for a day if you want me or need me to. Next week I have Tues, Wed, Thurs off (Tues and Thurs being the best choices as Brianna has a softball game on Wednesday.) Let me know. And hang in there. Love you guys!
Hang in there, mama! It will and does get easier, the girls will start to fall into a routine and you will learn their routine which will make life easier. Breastfeeding is hard at first, especially when they are so little and want to eat all the time, oh and take an hour to eat as well. Just stick with it, about 6 weeks in is the hardest and then it gets much better and easier!
Pretty soon you will look forward to breastfeeding them b/c it will be the only time in the day that you actually get to sit down and take a breather. :)
Give it some time, you're doing a great job!!
I absolutely KNOW what you are going through! Please, please, please take advantage of all of the wonderful help everyone is offering. I always felt guilty accepting help especially since I wasn't working for those first few weeks but for your own mental health (and you know this as well as I do working in our field) that you need to do your best to just enjoy your babies. Absolutely things will get easier but I STILL feel overwhelmed at times - I don't know if that ever goes away. Luckily, it sounds like you have wonderful people supporting you because it's completely impossible to do this all on your own and come out sane!!! I can't wait until I get to meet your girls. If you have any twinny questions please feel free to ask anytime!!! I never realized how much harder it is to have two until Lilly got sick this past week and slept all day and I was left with just one kid! But you're strong and the fact that you have time to update your blog shows that you have your stuff together just fine!!!
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