Helping the Doctors

The older my girls get, the harder it is for me to leave for work. Most work days, I'm there by 7a.m. (okay, a little after 7...I'm usually a few minutes late), so they don't even see me. But on the day that I man the phones in the outpatient clinic, I don't have to be there until around 8a.m.


So my girls wake up and I have to tell them that Momma is leaving, I have to go to work. The heartbreak starts immediately. This is what I usually hear:

But, Mama, I don't want you to go to work!
I want you to stay here with us!
Please don't leave us, Mama!
But I love you...don't leave me! (this one is especially heartbreaking)

I feel like a small part of me dies a little every time I leave. To make it easier, I thought I would tell them WHY I'm going to work. I tried to explain that I'm a nurse, and I need to help people feel better when they are sick. Maya told me, "No, Mama, doctors make people better!" (Classic....doctors always get all the credit....everyone forgets about the nurses).

So I told her that I help the doctors make people better.

Both girls are now convinced the my job is to "help the doctors fix people". So now, when I leave for work, after a little whining and fussing, they say, "Mama, are you going to help the doctors?". I think it makes them feel a little better knowing why I'm going to work. They know that helping is a good thing.

I still have little girls clinging to my legs as I try to leave. I definitely think it was easier leaving them when they were small. They didn't really care who was taking care of them, as long as they got some food and the occasional hug.

I say all of this for a reason. Very soon, I'll embarking on a new challenge.
I'm going to have the privilege of being a stay at home mom. I have about 7 days of work left and then I'm done.

I can't tell you how happy this makes me. I desperately want some balance, normalcy, and more consistency in our lives. I want to be the one who teaches my girls the important things. I want to be the one who hears each new word Olivia comes up with. I want to manage our household and hopefully eliminate some stress.

I really believe that while God is calling my husband to a new pastoral position, He is also calling me to a new position in my home. And just like any new job, I'm a little nervous and anxious, but so excited to see what this new chapter will bring.

I'll be posting in a few days about our new plans....but we're moving soon!

"So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the LORD your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you."
Deuteronomy 3:16


I'm going to end with random park pictures. My girls are now very 'strong and courageous' at the park. Sometimes it scares me. They aren't afraid of ANYTHING, probably because they know Mommy is watching and will keep them safe.
Hm...I need to take some cues from them.